5 Marks of a Healthy Missionary Marriage
1) The husband thinks of his wife more highly than she thinks of herself (and vice-versa)
I am stealing this from Marcus Buckingham’s, The One Thing You Need to Know, but I think this is a mark of healthy missionary marriages. When the husband thinks that his wife’s foreign language ability is much better than she thinks it is, or when the wife encourages her husband that he is doing a good job (even if he thinks he isn’t), things are probably going well in their marriage.
2) The couple seems to enjoy one another in group settings
I think you can tell a lot about a marriage simply by watching the couple in a group setting. Does one spouse tune out while the other one is talking? Does one spouse always interrupt the other spouse and disagree with him or her? Does one spouse always roll their eyes? Or are they engaged when their spouse tells a story? Is there a spirit of camaraderie present? If a couple is a healthy couple in a group setting, that can be a good indication that things are healthy at home.
3) Bibles are often left out on tables
4) The couple has inside jokes that only they understand
Ministry is so serious (eternal life is at stake!), that you must be able to laugh. If a couple has inside jokes, it is usually an indication that they have fun with each other when they are alone.
5) If you asked the wife, “Of all of the people in the world, which person ministers to you the most?" She would answer, “my husband.”
While there might be seasons where the wife feels really ministered to by one of her friends or by a family member, a sign of a healthy missionary marriage is when she feels most ministered to by her husband. This would indicate that her husband has found the right balance of ministry and family.
Clint Kirby is a missionary, church planter, and pastor serving in Gdansk, Poland with his wife Melissa.
