I Need the Gospel Everyday
I have five daughters whose ages span from six-years-old to eight-months-old.
Yes, that is a lot of little girls; and, yes, raising them is just as exhausting as you expect it to be. But it doesn’t matter how many children one has or how old they are, because I’m sure every mother reaches the point where she is completely overwhelmed with being a mommy.
I reached that point today.
At any given moment my brain is usually in a million different places all at once. I do a constant head-count (1-2-3-4-where did she go?-5); I interpret cries (Is she hungry, tired, annoyed, or hurt?); I pass by the growing mountains of laundry and roll my eyes at them; I break up sister-fights; kiss boo-boos… all of the normal mom stuff.
In addition to that, I usually have an on-going conversation with myself scrolling through my head all day long. Today it went something like this: Why is she screaming like that? Can’t we just make it through this one math lesson? Who just threw that? Bianca! That’s a time-out, Missy! When was the last time I changed the baby’s diaper? What did I just step in? Never mind, I don’t want to know. What am I going to make for lunch? (I look in the pantry.) Who is responsible for buying groceries? Oh, yeah…I am. Well, what am I going to make for dinner? Who cares!?!? We may not even survive until dinner.
It was at about that moment during my depressing, one-sided conversation when everyone started either crying or yelling. I don’t know why ALL of my children decided to go crazy all at once, but they’re girls and girls don’t always need a reason to cry. I was completely overwhelmed. I had reached my limit. My exhausted heart screamed out, “JESUS!” as loudly as it could. He’s my superhero. He rescues me when I’m drowning. He showed up like He always does. In my head I desperately yelled, “Get them! Make them behave! Make them be quiet...And please bring me chocolate!”
Jesus is always so kind to me when I am beside myself. He could have chided me about my attitude and so many other things, but He didn’t. He didn’t correct my children like I had asked Him to either. Instead, He spoke gently to my heart. “I’m here. I love you. I lived a stressful life, too. I lived it perfectly because I knew you couldn’t. I know you feel like this moment will be the end of you, but it won’t be. My perfect life really did come to an end, though. You are cracking under the wrath of your small children, but I endured the wrath of God. I did it so that you wouldn’t have to. There is no way you could have survived it. And when I died and rose again, I conquered death. It has lost its power over you. What was once your curse is now your blessing because it is your door to eternity with Me. I did it for your salvation, and I did it for this very moment. And, one day, I’m going to physically rescue you from everything that has ever frustrated you or hurt you. Now, go show those babies who I am.”
I needed that. I needed the gospel today. My daughters needed the gospel today. We made it to lunch only because of the gospel today. I needed to be reminded that I’m not living out this day hoping to perform well enough to earn the favor and blessings of God. If that’s the case, I lose.
Instead, I’m living an abundant life because God pursued my heart and rescued me out of my sin with His good news of Jesus Christ. The Spirit is using that same good news to sanctify me today.
Sweet Jesus, please refresh me with the gospel everyday.
“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace IN BELIEVING, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13).
Vanessa Ortiz disciples her 5 daughters with her husband, Noe, in Houston, Texas where they serve the least of these for the glory of Christ.
