Walking through the Fire
As I listened to the speakers at the Wilcrest Baptist Church ladies’ retreat in January, I enjoyed the sessions but didn’t think the topic was relevant to me at the time. Having an unshakable hope in the midst of suffering was a nice idea, but I just planned on filing it away for a while as I didn’t foresee any upcoming trials. Fast forward a month and a half, and I had to get those lessons back out in a hurry.
The thermometer showed a fever on Sunday. A trip to an urgent care clinic was made on Monday. A visit to the emergency room on Tuesday turned into an 11-night stay at the hospital for my husband. We had so many questions, but the doctors couldn’t seem to find any answers. Nobody could explain how a healthy guy turned so sick in a short amount of time, and only seemed to get worse.
As we heard words like “cancer” and “transplant” we both feared that this might be the end of “us.” Were we about to be robbed of the long life we pictured together?
When we finally heard a diagnosis of a temporary infection and a promise of going home soon, we celebrated. One of the first things we did was share what God had been teaching us through this time. At the top of both our lists was the need to value and appreciate each other more and take advantage of every moment God gives us on earth.
I laid in bed that night, unable to fall asleep. The past 10 nights I fought to find sleep because of worry; this night was filled with relief and excitement. I thought to myself, “God finally came through for us.” Immediately I realized that was the wrong response. The reality is, God didn’t have anything to prove. He didn’t have to heal my husband to earn my trust. He didn’t have to give us more years together in order for me to feel blessed. He had already blessed me with giving us nearly four years of marriage. If that was all I got, then I needed to be grateful.
Throughout the past two weeks, I was reminded many times of Isaiah 43:2 – “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.” There were moments I felt like we were being burned and days when I thought the water was going to sweep over us, but God is faithful and keeps His word.
We're still processing this whole crazy thing. On one hand it seems like the two weeks was a blur, but at the time it felt like an eternity. I pray that we keep an attitude of trust no matter what comes our way. I pray that we keep an attitude of thankfulness throughout each day God gives us. I pray that we don’t waste these times of suffering that allow us to know God in a deeper way.
Esther Schinzler is a graphic designer and member of Wilcrest Baptist Church, where she serves with her husband Jonathan in areas of local and international missions.
