You have to Start Somewhere
Once again I find myself struggling to wake up, to move, to get out of bed and get my day started. I can feel the cold creeping through the covers, and I had an extremely long night. It always seems like when ever I’m determined to go to bed early that something demands my attention right as I’m calling it a night and extends my night way beyond what I intended. More importantly, I open my eyes for the first time and wait for my eyes to adjust to the darkness and notice that Grace is still sleeping.
Yep…. It’s 5:30am.
Then the deliberation begins. Do I lay here just a little while longer knowing that I’ll fall back asleep for just “a few more minutes” or do I wake up my wife and lead us in family devotion & prayer? In the back of my mind I know that a few more minutes will turn into another hour, and at that point I’ll be rushing to get everything together to head to the office. I begin to reason with myself on how I can find a time to work devotional time in when I get home from work, but I know in the back of my mind that it will never happen.
Slowly, I crawl out of bed, wake up my wife and head for the living room to set up and prepare. When we sit down to begin singing I grab my guitar, but unfortunately, I’ve only been playing it for about 8 months and not even consistently. I’m terrible, and because of my less than mediocre guitar playing, we can only sing songs in the key of G. As we read through scripture it begins to get easier. My favorite part is when I open up our family prayer journal and we begin to share petitions and requests for our friends, family, church, and each other. By the time we finish praying, it becomes abundantly clear that it was worth it.
When I reflect on how leading family worship has gone since I first got married, it reminds me of my journey as a pianist. I remember when my mother first informed me (there was no consensus taken) that I would be taking lessons. I had seen experts play and was ready to sound like them. Yet, when I went to my first lesson I was extremely disappointed. All I did was count my fingers and identify lines and spaces. I quickly became bored with Three Blind Mice.
I began to struggle with playing the piano. I quit several times. Yet, my love for singing and music, in general, compelled me to continue studying. I was the worst at practicing. I found myself waiting till two hours before my lesson to actually practice the music. I would fumble through lessons. Often times, I could do just enough to fake through a lesson, but not enough to really master anything.
Here I stand some 22 years later, and it’s odd for me to go a single day without playing the piano. Being a pianist has been my livelihood now for the past decade. I have learned that through persistence, much can be achieved.
When I see myself struggling to wake up in the morning, wrestling with whether or not it is worth it, contemplating sleeping for a little while longer, or being frustrated that this is even a debate within me in the first place, I am reminded that everyone begins somewhere. I may have been a Christian for a long time, but I’ve only been a husband for 10 months.
I will struggle and fail, but I also know that the daily repetition of family worship will be proven to be the source of health and livelihood within my marriage for the next 20 years; which leads me to the whole point… It’s ok if this isn’t easy when you first get started because everyone has to start somewhere.
Mac Gervais is the worship & student pastor at Wilcrest Baptist Church in his hometown of Houston, Texas, where he leads his wife and church in worship.
