Teaching Our Children how to Pray
Last night was a late night. I hurried to get through the bedtime routine with my daughter and lay her down so she could hopefully go to sleep quickly. As we said our nightly prayers, the Lord impressed upon me the importance of this moment and to dare not rush it.
After we had said goodnight, I could not help but feel pride in her little, thoughtful prayer and thankfulness with how the Lord has helped my wife and I intentionally teach her how to pray. What follows are excerpts from her prayer and encouragement to make prayer a part of your child’s daily life if you have not already.
“Oooh, Daddy, I want to pray…”
Those words will bring excitement and joy to the heart of any Christ-following parent, who no doubt, desires their children to follow Christ as well. It is not easy to teach children to pray, but as it is commonly said, most things worth doing are not easy. For that matter, it isn’t easy to teach a child to read or do multiplication either, but we sometimes find it more natural to emphasize and make time for these as vital life skills while simply assuming our children will pick up the habit of prayer along the way.
Prayer is THE most vital life skill you can impart to your child.
Prayer is what will sustain them throughout their life.
You will not always be by their side, but the Father is a very present help (Ps. 46:1). You will fail them at some point, but the Father never will (Deut. 31:8).
“Lord, I pray for Mariella, Gracie, and Micah,” my daughter prayed.
Prayers don’t have to be difficult, complex or wordy. Your child may simply want to say a quick prayer for their best friends and that is okay. Your child may not yet even know what it means to “pray” for someone and that is okay too. While that could be a valuable teaching moment, it is up to each parent to assess when their child can begin to digest this concept.
My daughter does not always understand my wife and I’s prayers, or even the words she uses when she prays, but she is still participating. She is still learning the habit (Prov. 22:6) of seeking help from the Father daily – usually twice a day (in the morning after reading the Bible and before bedtime), if not more. Prayer is just another part of her daily life, as common and comfortable as brushing her teeth or getting dressed - even at 3 years old. What a blessed reality!
“I pray for Mommy, Daddy, Ava, Luke, and our puppies…”
Kids can understand a lot more than many of us adults give them credit for. Ava will almost always pray for each of her family members by name – even our four (yes, 4) dogs. This may seem like a simple and obvious place to start with prayer, and it is, but let’s not take it for granted. If you are teaching them to pray for their friends and family, you are teaching them valuable lessons on the importance of humility, helping others and supporting the Body of Christ (James 5:16).
And, get this, even though you probably weren’t trying to, you are teaching them how they (read: all of us) as individuals are insufficient to accomplish anything of eternal significance apart from God’s grace (that’ll preach).
“Please guide my steps…Help my cough and nosey…Help me make good choices…”
Anyone with children knows they are little mirrors and parrots. For better or worse, they will copy what we do, what we say, how we react, etc. Prayer is no different. What you pray for and about, if you do it consistently, will stick with them. A 3 year old does not naturally pray for guidance and help with making good choices or for healing. If they hear their parents consistently pray for these types of things, then they will naturally follow. Granted, it sometimes takes an abundance of patience and perseverance that is only possible through the Holy Spirit to repeatedly explain certain words and phrases, but I think we can all agree that the benefits severely outweigh the costs.
There is plenty of sin and evil our kids are exposed to and emulate. We need to be intentional in helping them mirror the heart of the Messiah and encouraging them to parrot our prayers and praises (1 Cor. 11:1).
“I just want to pray for a cozy bed and Daddy working and Mommy making yummy food…”
These parts of her prayers are my favorite. The parts where she strays from the script. The parts where she truly shares what is on her heart and mind. The parts where she gives us glimpses that she is beginning to get this whole prayer thing. These parts start to come after a lot of practice and many teaching moments.
Don’t get me wrong, her prayers often veer into selfish or materialistic territory – like praying about going to Disney World – but that is a lesson for another time. There is beauty in the simple meditations of a child’s heart, whatever they might be. Their simplicity and honesty is what endears them to Christ (Matt. 19:13-14).
She also frequently uses “pray” and “thank you” interchangeably. I would like to say that she is making a profound theological statement about God’s sovereignty in that our pleas for help are the same as gratitude since they have already been answered from His point of view, but I don’t think that is the case.
On a related note, please don’t call CPS, our daughter does have a bed. She is expressing gratitude for her bed since she has been taught at some point that not all children have all the nice things she does. She is thankful for my job since she has been taught at some point that not all Mommies are able to stay home. She is thankful for her mother’s efforts around the house since she has been taught at some point (and daily witnesses) that her mother works tirelessly to support and take care of our family.
“We just pray for all these wonderful things, in Jesus’ name…”
She is beginning to grasp that good things come from Him. She is beginning to understand what a blessing is. She doesn’t understand it all, and she doesn’t need to. Knowledge and understanding are important but knowing Him is the true goal (Prov. 9:10). She blesses us each time she says a prayer, whether it is random or thoughtful, but one thing that hits home personally is that she does know the name of Jesus and who he is.
Being able to introduce Ava to Him is especially rewarding for my wife and I as we grew up in homes not centered on Christ. She knows His name. She knows that she needs His help. I pray that this will one day lead to her knowing Him as her Savior.
I encourage you to take advantage of any opportunity you can to teach your child how to pray and the importance of it. It is never too late to start. As a parent reading this, I know your heart echoes mine in crying out for our children to know Him, call on Him, serve Him, and share Him. To that end, we can all say…“ Amen”
Zach Murchison serves the Lord in Houston, Texas, at his job, with his church, and in his home, where he and his wife disciple their daughter & son.
